On Saturday (Halloween), someone threw an umbrella into the hippo exhibit. The hippos tore it to shreds, chewed on it, and presumably swallowed some of it. They were immediately taken off exhibit for medical attention. As far as I know, both hippos are okay.
People are so dumb it makes me angry.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
random ridiculousness.
Guy: These stairs go upstairs?
********************
We have a 3D Spongebob Squarepants movie at the aquarium.
Foreign Lady: Which way to see Spongebath?
********************
I'm outside on my lunchbreak, eating a sandwich, reading "Japanese for Dummies." A guy walks by.
Guy: Hey, you work in there?
Me: Yeah.
Guy: They have an employee discount? Hey, why's your nametag say x-agent?
Me: I'm an "Xperience Agent."
Guy: Oh. So there a discount?
Me: Yeah, if you work here, they'll let you in for free and stuff.
Guy: Cool. Hey, what you readin? [gets right up in my face to look at the cover]
Me: Japanese for Dummies.
Guy: Oh. What is it, like, jokes?
Me: No, it's Japanese. I'm learning to speak Japanese.
Guy: [starts to walk away] Oh, cool. You goin to Korea sometime soon?
Me: Uh. You never know!
Guy: Ha! Just in case, right! Ha! Take it easy!
********************
I'm dressed in the mascot costume- a giant blue shark. A family approaches. A woman and a little girl run up to me. The woman hands her camera to a man, "Uncle Rick." Uncle Rick tries to take a picture backwards, with the digital screen facing us and the lens facing him. When he tried to push the button with his finger, he seemed utterly dumbfounded as to why there was no button there. "Uncle Rick, it's backwards!" said the little girl. Then Uncle Rick figured it out.
********************
At different times, the employees will take an animal out into a certain area so that guests can look at it up-close. One of these areas is called the "Rainforest," where there are fake trees in which our different parrots can perch. On this occasion, the employee is holding an African Pygmy Hedgehog, and there happens to be a blue and gold Macaw perched in the tree above him.
Woman: [looks at hedgehog, then parrot] After how many years does a hedgehog turn into a bird?
Employee: [shakes head]
********************
We have a 3D Spongebob Squarepants movie at the aquarium.
Foreign Lady: Which way to see Spongebath?
********************
I'm outside on my lunchbreak, eating a sandwich, reading "Japanese for Dummies." A guy walks by.
Guy: Hey, you work in there?
Me: Yeah.
Guy: They have an employee discount? Hey, why's your nametag say x-agent?
Me: I'm an "Xperience Agent."
Guy: Oh. So there a discount?
Me: Yeah, if you work here, they'll let you in for free and stuff.
Guy: Cool. Hey, what you readin? [gets right up in my face to look at the cover]
Me: Japanese for Dummies.
Guy: Oh. What is it, like, jokes?
Me: No, it's Japanese. I'm learning to speak Japanese.
Guy: [starts to walk away] Oh, cool. You goin to Korea sometime soon?
Me: Uh. You never know!
Guy: Ha! Just in case, right! Ha! Take it easy!
********************
I'm dressed in the mascot costume- a giant blue shark. A family approaches. A woman and a little girl run up to me. The woman hands her camera to a man, "Uncle Rick." Uncle Rick tries to take a picture backwards, with the digital screen facing us and the lens facing him. When he tried to push the button with his finger, he seemed utterly dumbfounded as to why there was no button there. "Uncle Rick, it's backwards!" said the little girl. Then Uncle Rick figured it out.
********************
At different times, the employees will take an animal out into a certain area so that guests can look at it up-close. One of these areas is called the "Rainforest," where there are fake trees in which our different parrots can perch. On this occasion, the employee is holding an African Pygmy Hedgehog, and there happens to be a blue and gold Macaw perched in the tree above him.
Woman: [looks at hedgehog, then parrot] After how many years does a hedgehog turn into a bird?
Employee: [shakes head]
Monday, August 10, 2009
at touch-a-ray.
The following encounters happened at touch-a-ray. [ray = stingray]
Guy: You guys have stingrays here?
Employee: Yep, right there. [points to water]
Guy: Oh! In the water.
********************
Guy to his friend: I wonder how closely these are related to horseshoe crabs. 'Cause they're the same shape.
********************
The room in which touch-a-ray sits closes for 15 minutes every hour so the animals can rest. A little boy ran under the stanchions and stuck his hand in the stingray tank. The employees and the boy's parents approached him and told him that he couldn't touch right now because the animals were resting.
Little boy: [pulling his hand out, terrified] Am I going to jail?
Guy: You guys have stingrays here?
Employee: Yep, right there. [points to water]
Guy: Oh! In the water.
********************
Guy to his friend: I wonder how closely these are related to horseshoe crabs. 'Cause they're the same shape.
********************
The room in which touch-a-ray sits closes for 15 minutes every hour so the animals can rest. A little boy ran under the stanchions and stuck his hand in the stingray tank. The employees and the boy's parents approached him and told him that he couldn't touch right now because the animals were resting.
Little boy: [pulling his hand out, terrified] Am I going to jail?
in the hippo exhibit.
The following encounters happened in WARE, or the West African River Experience exhibit at the Aquarium. [editor's note: most, if not all, of the animals in this exhibit can be found in places other than West Africa. I'm not kidding.] This exhibit holds a large porcupine, a few dozen free-flying birds, and 2 female hippopotamuses.
An employee is carrying a 20-inch long plastic replica of a hippo tusk.
Man: Is that an elephant tusk?
Employee: No, this is a hippo tooth.
Man: Oh, yeah. You don't have elephants here... do you?
********************
Every year, we celebrate our older hippo's birthday. It's huge event, with banners outside, decorations all through the inside, large inflatable cakes, a 8-foot tall plastic Dr. Seuss-esque cake in the cafe, and a smaller replica of that cake, which is wheeled into the hippo exhibit every day, while simultaneously, a "cake" made of vegetables (since the hippos are herbivores) is given to the hippos, and then everyone sings them "Happy Birthday" (in a flagrant display of copyright infringement).
Lady seeing the big cake being wheeled out: Oooh! It must be somebody's brithday!
Employee: Yes! We're celebrating the Hippo's birthday! That's why there are decorations all over the place, and every employee you've seen today has been wearing a "hippo's birthday" t-shirt.
Lady: Oh.
********************
Lady to son: Hippos can open their mouths 180 degrees! That's a full circle! [draws circle with finger]
********************
Guy: Do the hippos have to keep moving all the time to keep water moving over their gills?
********************
Person: Wow! The rhinos are so beautiful! I didn't know they spent so much time in the water!
An employee is carrying a 20-inch long plastic replica of a hippo tusk.
Man: Is that an elephant tusk?
Employee: No, this is a hippo tooth.
Man: Oh, yeah. You don't have elephants here... do you?
********************
Every year, we celebrate our older hippo's birthday. It's huge event, with banners outside, decorations all through the inside, large inflatable cakes, a 8-foot tall plastic Dr. Seuss-esque cake in the cafe, and a smaller replica of that cake, which is wheeled into the hippo exhibit every day, while simultaneously, a "cake" made of vegetables (since the hippos are herbivores) is given to the hippos, and then everyone sings them "Happy Birthday" (in a flagrant display of copyright infringement).
Lady seeing the big cake being wheeled out: Oooh! It must be somebody's brithday!
Employee: Yes! We're celebrating the Hippo's birthday! That's why there are decorations all over the place, and every employee you've seen today has been wearing a "hippo's birthday" t-shirt.
Lady: Oh.
********************
Lady to son: Hippos can open their mouths 180 degrees! That's a full circle! [draws circle with finger]
********************
Guy: Do the hippos have to keep moving all the time to keep water moving over their gills?
********************
Person: Wow! The rhinos are so beautiful! I didn't know they spent so much time in the water!
Friday, August 7, 2009
at creature feature.
The following encounters happened at "creature feature," a pool where you can touch sea stars, sea cucumbers, anemones, and other tide pool animals.
"Creature Feature" is closed for its hourly 15-minute break. So you can't touch the animals.
A woman asks if she can still take pictures.
Yes, she can.
She says she doesn't know how to take the flash off, is that okay?
Yes, that's fine.
She says, wait, I can take a flash picture and wake the animals up, but my kids can't touch them?
Again, yes.
This debate continues for 10 minutes.
"Creature Feature's" break ends, and people are once again allowed to touch.
The woman's children don't want to touch them, and they leave.
********************
Sometimes people mistake the clumps of sea stars for an octopus.
Guy: Look, honey! An Octopotamus!
********************
Large Man: [looks at sea cucumber, then his wife/girlfriend] Come on, you'll touch my dick but not this?
********************
"Creature Feature" is about a foot deep, but there is a shallow shelf running around the outside edge of the tank, so it's easier for small children to touch the animals on the shelf.
An employee watches a father roll his daughter's pant legs up, pick her up, and begin lowering her into the exhibit.
Employee: Um, no! This exhibit is for fingers, not bodies!
Father: Oh! We were just sitting her on the bench [points to shelf].
********************
Old Asian Man With Heavy Accent: This... uh... sea enema?
Employee: What? Oh, no, no. Anemone. Surf Anemone.
Old Man: Oh, yes. Very good.
"Creature Feature" is closed for its hourly 15-minute break. So you can't touch the animals.
A woman asks if she can still take pictures.
Yes, she can.
She says she doesn't know how to take the flash off, is that okay?
Yes, that's fine.
She says, wait, I can take a flash picture and wake the animals up, but my kids can't touch them?
Again, yes.
This debate continues for 10 minutes.
"Creature Feature's" break ends, and people are once again allowed to touch.
The woman's children don't want to touch them, and they leave.
********************
Sometimes people mistake the clumps of sea stars for an octopus.
Guy: Look, honey! An Octopotamus!
********************
Large Man: [looks at sea cucumber, then his wife/girlfriend] Come on, you'll touch my dick but not this?
********************
"Creature Feature" is about a foot deep, but there is a shallow shelf running around the outside edge of the tank, so it's easier for small children to touch the animals on the shelf.
An employee watches a father roll his daughter's pant legs up, pick her up, and begin lowering her into the exhibit.
Employee: Um, no! This exhibit is for fingers, not bodies!
Father: Oh! We were just sitting her on the bench [points to shelf].
********************
Old Asian Man With Heavy Accent: This... uh... sea enema?
Employee: What? Oh, no, no. Anemone. Surf Anemone.
Old Man: Oh, yes. Very good.
at touch-a-shark.
The following encounters take place at touch-a-shark, where you can touch sharks.
Dad: See, honey, this is the sharks' house.
Little Girl: If this is their house, where's their TV?
********************
Man: What is dees? Sharks?
Employee: Yes, Bamboo sharks.
Man: How much do one of dees cost?
Employee: Um, we don't sell them here. You can't buy them.
Man: [pulls out camera and takes a picture of the sharks] I'ma get me one of dees fishes.
********************
Man: Do these sting?
Dad: See, honey, this is the sharks' house.
Little Girl: If this is their house, where's their TV?
********************
Man: What is dees? Sharks?
Employee: Yes, Bamboo sharks.
Man: How much do one of dees cost?
Employee: Um, we don't sell them here. You can't buy them.
Man: [pulls out camera and takes a picture of the sharks] I'ma get me one of dees fishes.
********************
Man: Do these sting?
an apology.
I haven't updated this thing in forever. I've been riding my bike to work, and therefore haven't been able to easily carry the notebook in which these quotes are written. I drove today. The book got brought home today. The blog gets updated today.
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