Woman, running inside after seeing a seal sitting at the bottom of the tank at the clearly labeled "Seal Shores" exhibit: I think there's something wrong with one of your whales!
********************
In the Shark exhibit, just before a shark talk.
Man: Is this a show where they're going to be doing jumps and flips and stuff?
Me: No, sir. You're thinking of dolphins. These are sharks.
Man: So these don't do that?
Me: No.
********************
For some reason, I thought that the general public had learned by now that sharks are not "man eaters" that are "out to get us." Oh well.
At touch-a-shark (which contains 3-foot, bottom-feeding sharks)
Woman: We can touch these?
Me: Yep. This is touch-a-shark.
Woman: They're sharks! They'll bite!
Me: No, not all animals bite. Not all dogs bite, right? These guys just bite their food.
Woman: Well, we're food for them, right?
Me: No... [I go on to explain how that's a misconception, sharks eat fish, etc.]
Woman: Wow! You learn something new every day!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
proper grammar.
We have three touch exhibits at the aquarium. Each of them closes for 15 minutes per hour. This gives the animals a chance to de-stress, and, if need be, to be fed. "Creature Feature" is the exhibit where you can touch tide pool animals, like sea stars, crabs, anemones, and prawn (big shrimp). The prawn tend to walk around on the bottom. Compared to the other animals in the exhibit, they are by far the quickest and most visibly active.
A woman approaches. She is holding an infant and accompanied by two small (maybe 2 or 3 year-old) children.
Little Girl: We can touch 'em?
Me: Not right now. They're taking a rest now, and you can touch them in a few minutes.
[The little girl notices the prawn walking around on the bottom of the exhibit.]
Little Girl: [pointing] These is woke.
Me: What's that?
Little Girl: These is woke.
Me: I... what?
Woman: [Irritated] She said "These is woke."
Me: You mean... like... these are awake?
Woman: Yeah.
Me: Yep. Yep, they are.
A woman approaches. She is holding an infant and accompanied by two small (maybe 2 or 3 year-old) children.
Little Girl: We can touch 'em?
Me: Not right now. They're taking a rest now, and you can touch them in a few minutes.
[The little girl notices the prawn walking around on the bottom of the exhibit.]
Little Girl: [pointing] These is woke.
Me: What's that?
Little Girl: These is woke.
Me: I... what?
Woman: [Irritated] She said "These is woke."
Me: You mean... like... these are awake?
Woman: Yeah.
Me: Yep. Yep, they are.
amish and the shark cage.
On Jewish holidays, the aquarium gets hundreds of Orthodox Jewish families visiting. On these particular days, the number of Jewish families (who are easily recognizable by their religiously-influenced clothing) greatly outnumber the non-Jewish families.
After I perform a talk about the hippos, the (mostly Orthodox Jewish) crowd disperses, and we all jam up near the exit.
Non-Jewish woman: Excuse me, are there always this many [whispered] Amish people here?
Yes, she only whispered the word "Amish." I simply replied "No."
********************
We have a room that plays a video of footage taken from inside a shark cage. The shark bumps the cage on the video, and the floor moves to simulate the sensation. This is known as our "Virtual Shark Cage." It is labeled as such.
A woman enters the cage.
Woman: Are we going under, or is this a movie?
After I perform a talk about the hippos, the (mostly Orthodox Jewish) crowd disperses, and we all jam up near the exit.
Non-Jewish woman: Excuse me, are there always this many [whispered] Amish people here?
Yes, she only whispered the word "Amish." I simply replied "No."
********************
We have a room that plays a video of footage taken from inside a shark cage. The shark bumps the cage on the video, and the floor moves to simulate the sensation. This is known as our "Virtual Shark Cage." It is labeled as such.
A woman enters the cage.
Woman: Are we going under, or is this a movie?
i met a (legitimately) crazy guy.
A wild-eyed man walks up to touch-a-shark and speaks in a voice that is just shy of shouting.
Man: Is this a special touching place?
Me: Yep. This is touch-a-shark.
Man: And you can touch 'em?
Me: Yep.
Man: You can touch 'em?
Me: (pause) Yes.
Man: You work here?
Me: Yes I do.
Man: And these won't bite me?
Me: Nope. They don't bite.
Man: You sure you work here?
Me: Quite sure.
Man: I'm (name). [reaches to shake my hand]
Me: [shaking his hand] I'm Matt.
Man: Matthew! Can I call you Matthew?
Me: Sure, that works too.
Man: I should introduce myself. I'm (full name). You may have heard of me.
*Note* I have not heard of him.
Me: Uh. Maybe.
Man: Yeah. You may have heard them talking. It gets around. Well, I'm crazy, I need to get back to the box!
Me: Uh, alright! See you!
I later found out that there was a group of adults from some institution there that day. So he probably was, in fact, crazy.
Man: Is this a special touching place?
Me: Yep. This is touch-a-shark.
Man: And you can touch 'em?
Me: Yep.
Man: You can touch 'em?
Me: (pause) Yes.
Man: You work here?
Me: Yes I do.
Man: And these won't bite me?
Me: Nope. They don't bite.
Man: You sure you work here?
Me: Quite sure.
Man: I'm (name). [reaches to shake my hand]
Me: [shaking his hand] I'm Matt.
Man: Matthew! Can I call you Matthew?
Me: Sure, that works too.
Man: I should introduce myself. I'm (full name). You may have heard of me.
*Note* I have not heard of him.
Me: Uh. Maybe.
Man: Yeah. You may have heard them talking. It gets around. Well, I'm crazy, I need to get back to the box!
Me: Uh, alright! See you!
I later found out that there was a group of adults from some institution there that day. So he probably was, in fact, crazy.
Friday, September 5, 2008
and so it begins.
Some of these are a few months old, but have just been relayed to me by my coworkers.
*********************
Woman at Touch-A-Shark (to her son): Ooooh! Look, Michael! Stingrays! These are stingrays, right?
Employee: Nope. Sharks.
********************
Employee: Hi folks, this is Dash, one of our Diamond Back Terrapins.
Guy: Oh cool! What's the English name for it?
********************
Note: The aquarium has a 760,000 gallon exhibit called the "Ocean Realm." It has very big (movie screen sized) windows.
Man: Question for you.
Employee: Go ahead.
Man: Ok, the animals in ocean realm are just images, right? My wife and I have a bet going and I told her that they were just a movie playing because those animals be too big to be real.
Employee: Sir, we're an aquarium. We have real, big fish.
Man: Oh, damn. Honey, you were right!
********************
Woman at outdoor penguin exhibit: Can't they fly out of here and escape?
********************
The scene: A father, who has taken his little boy's shirt and shoes off, is dangling his barefoot daughter over the Touch-A-Shark exhibit, presumably to let her swim/wade in it.
Employee: Sir! Please take her foot... sir! Fingers only, this is a touch exhibit.
Man: Oh. So we can't...?
Employee: No.
********************
Our touch exhibits close for a 15-minute break every hour, so the animals can rest and be fed, if need be. To indicate that the exhibit is closed, we close off the entrances with stanchions.
The scene: A woman drags her two kids with her as she ducks under the stanchions and into the exhibit area.
Mother [to employee]: Ok, we're here! What do we do now?
Employee: Um, we're closed for another 12 minutes.
Mother: [Stops smiling] Oh... really? Hmmm.
Employee: Yeah, sorry.
Mother: [Getting angry] There isn't anything that says you're closed.
Employee: The blue line across the entrance? That means we're closed.
Mother: Oh! I didn't even see that!
********************
The name "hippopotamus" means "water horse."
Man: Do you have sea horses here?
Employee: Yes... [about to explain where]
Man: [interrupting] ...is that the same as a hippo?
Employee: No....
Man: Oh yeah, I'm thinking of water horse...
********************
Woman looking at moray eels: Eeew! Those look like the fish from that movie! I think it was "All Dogs Go To Heaven."
********************
Note: Scorpions do not live underwater.
Man: [pointing at Turban Snail shell] Is that shrimp dead!?
Employee: What?
Man: But it's on its side! Look!
Employee: No, that's a....
Woman with Man: [pointing at a Prawn] Scorpion!?
Employee: No.
Man: So this [points at Turban Snail] is a shrimp, and that [points at Prawn] is a scorpion!?
More to come.
*********************
Woman at Touch-A-Shark (to her son): Ooooh! Look, Michael! Stingrays! These are stingrays, right?
Employee: Nope. Sharks.
********************
Employee: Hi folks, this is Dash, one of our Diamond Back Terrapins.
Guy: Oh cool! What's the English name for it?
********************
Note: The aquarium has a 760,000 gallon exhibit called the "Ocean Realm." It has very big (movie screen sized) windows.
Man: Question for you.
Employee: Go ahead.
Man: Ok, the animals in ocean realm are just images, right? My wife and I have a bet going and I told her that they were just a movie playing because those animals be too big to be real.
Employee: Sir, we're an aquarium. We have real, big fish.
Man: Oh, damn. Honey, you were right!
********************
Woman at outdoor penguin exhibit: Can't they fly out of here and escape?
********************
The scene: A father, who has taken his little boy's shirt and shoes off, is dangling his barefoot daughter over the Touch-A-Shark exhibit, presumably to let her swim/wade in it.
Employee: Sir! Please take her foot... sir! Fingers only, this is a touch exhibit.
Man: Oh. So we can't...?
Employee: No.
********************
Our touch exhibits close for a 15-minute break every hour, so the animals can rest and be fed, if need be. To indicate that the exhibit is closed, we close off the entrances with stanchions.
The scene: A woman drags her two kids with her as she ducks under the stanchions and into the exhibit area.
Mother [to employee]: Ok, we're here! What do we do now?
Employee: Um, we're closed for another 12 minutes.
Mother: [Stops smiling] Oh... really? Hmmm.
Employee: Yeah, sorry.
Mother: [Getting angry] There isn't anything that says you're closed.
Employee: The blue line across the entrance? That means we're closed.
Mother: Oh! I didn't even see that!
********************
The name "hippopotamus" means "water horse."
Man: Do you have sea horses here?
Employee: Yes... [about to explain where]
Man: [interrupting] ...is that the same as a hippo?
Employee: No....
Man: Oh yeah, I'm thinking of water horse...
********************
Woman looking at moray eels: Eeew! Those look like the fish from that movie! I think it was "All Dogs Go To Heaven."
********************
Note: Scorpions do not live underwater.
Man: [pointing at Turban Snail shell] Is that shrimp dead!?
Employee: What?
Man: But it's on its side! Look!
Employee: No, that's a....
Woman with Man: [pointing at a Prawn] Scorpion!?
Employee: No.
Man: So this [points at Turban Snail] is a shrimp, and that [points at Prawn] is a scorpion!?
More to come.
Monday, September 1, 2008
playing catch-up, part 3.
Recounting all the past events that have happened in the last year and a half. In no particular order. Part 3: a quick story.
At the aquarium, there are three windows that show the developmental stages of jellyfish: the polyp stage, in which the "baby" jellies are like tiny little anemones attached to substrate (a rock, etc.); the ephyra stage, where the jellies break off into eighth-inch swimming mini-jellies; and finally, the medusa stage, which is the adult jelly stage that most people recognize. There are placards describing each stage next to each corresponding window.
On this particular day, there was a school group in the touch-a-jelly area. All the kids were touching the jellies, and one of the chaperones had stopped to look at the jellyfish life cycle placards. I watched her as she moved from window to window. She was probably in her late twenties or early thirties, and, presumably, at least partially responsible for the education of these children. When she came to the last placard, describing the medusa stage, she read aloud, with much hesitation and difficulty:
"This is is the final stage of the jelly's life... the me... med... medusa stage. In this... stage... the jellies can take up to two months to reach ma... mach... may-tyurrr..."
The next word was "maturity." She didn't know it. She gave up, turned around, and walked away. I was flabbergasted, amused, and deeply saddened at the same time.
More to come.
At the aquarium, there are three windows that show the developmental stages of jellyfish: the polyp stage, in which the "baby" jellies are like tiny little anemones attached to substrate (a rock, etc.); the ephyra stage, where the jellies break off into eighth-inch swimming mini-jellies; and finally, the medusa stage, which is the adult jelly stage that most people recognize. There are placards describing each stage next to each corresponding window.
On this particular day, there was a school group in the touch-a-jelly area. All the kids were touching the jellies, and one of the chaperones had stopped to look at the jellyfish life cycle placards. I watched her as she moved from window to window. She was probably in her late twenties or early thirties, and, presumably, at least partially responsible for the education of these children. When she came to the last placard, describing the medusa stage, she read aloud, with much hesitation and difficulty:
"This is is the final stage of the jelly's life... the me... med... medusa stage. In this... stage... the jellies can take up to two months to reach ma... mach... may-tyurrr..."
The next word was "maturity." She didn't know it. She gave up, turned around, and walked away. I was flabbergasted, amused, and deeply saddened at the same time.
More to come.
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