identification is fun.

Older Foreign Lady: These sea animals?
Employee: Yes... [unsure, forced smile]

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A 70's-ish woman is standing with her daughter, pointing at various animals as they swim by.

Woman: [points] Ooh! A shark! [points] Ooh! A Turtle! [points to large school of fish] Are those real?

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Our "African" exhibit features hippos, dozens of free-flying birds, and an African Crested Porcupine, which hides behind a log (it's nocturnal), has 3-foot quills, and weighs about 40 pounds.

Woman: [points at porcupine] Ooh! Look at that big bird!

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At Touch-A-Shark

Woman: These alligators?

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The aquarium is full of interactive things for small kids- buttons to push and levers to pull. One such exhibit requires that you push a red button. Doing this lights up a picture of a Foxface Rabbitfish, which is venomous. In the picture, the Rabbitfish has hypodermic needles in its body, pointing out through its fin spines, to show you that its spines and venom sacs function like a needle injection.

6-year-old boy: [pushes button] Look! Drugs!
The boy pulls on his chaperone's sleeve and gets her to push the button.
Chaperone: Yep, Drugs!

Sharks: big, stinky, beefy, feline.

The aquarium features a big, fake, great white shark hanging from the ceiling. It's about 15 feet long.

Little Girl: [pointing] How old is that shark?
Employee: It's actually just a fake shark.
Little Girl: 30 minutes long!
Employee: You mean how long is the shark? I don't know, but it's big!
Little Girl: 30 minutes!

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At Touch-A-Shark:

Woman: Will they smell like fish if I touch them?
Me: Will they smell like fish if you touch them?
Woman: Yeah.
Me: ...no?

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At Touch-A-Shark:

High School Girl: You feed the sharks steak?
Employee: Steak? Did you say steak?
HSG: Well, I didn't know if you fed them meat, or just, like, fish....
Employee: We feed them fish, which is still meat....
HSG: [blank stare] Ya never know!

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At Touch-A-Shark:

Woman: Are these really sharks or are they catfish?
Employee: Uh, they're definitely sharks, I promise.

mermaids, back-breathing, and whales.

A woman approaches, her kids are slightly out of earshot. She's dead serious.

Woman: Excuse me, do you have mermaids?
Employee: What?
Woman: Do you have Atlantic mermaids?
Employee: Um... no?
Woman: Oh. [To kids] Sorry guys, I really wanted you to see what a real mermaid looked like.

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Man seeing bubbles come out from under a penguin's thick feathers underwater: Hey! Do they breathe out of their backs?

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A man with a thick Indian accent:

Man: You have big whale last time! Big whale!
Employee: Sir, we actually don't have whales here. Maybe you saw our large sharks?
Man: Yes. [Smiles] Big whale.
Employee: No whales.
Man: So big, the whales.